I know this is a very common limitation for leaders: even if they want to coach regularly, they do not have one hour per person each week, and they don’t know how to have a productive conversation that is short. Don’t aim to have super long conversations. Let’s talk about how to make most of laser coaching sessions, i.e. short coaching conversations within 15–20 minutes. Just like with every new habit, it needs some time to get settled. Then it will be effortless.
Key Principle 1: Partnership
Coaching is a partnership and it only works when both parties are invested in the process. You might want to ask a question like: “Is it okay if I take off my manager hat for 15 minutes and coach you instead? I trust that you can find the answer, and I would like you to support you in figuring this out.”
I had a conversation relatively recently with a team where some people said,
“How do we convince our manager to give us the answers directly? Because every time we come to the manager and ask him, what should we do? He asks us, what do you think?”
And I go like, “Well, I don’t think that I want to teach you that. I’m pretty sure your manager is being intentional about doing this and he is doing it for a certain purpose. So it’s not about you persuading your manager to give you the answers instead of coaching you. It’s about your willingness and readiness to accept the invitation to be coached”.
People cannot read our mind. They have no idea that you are at that very moment trying to empower them and support them in developing their problem solving capacity. They make assumptions. Sometimes your people do not understand why you do certain things, and it would be more effective to tell them.
Key Principle 2:A Narrow Goal for a Short Coaching Session
For laser sessions you need to have a very narrow goal for that conversation. The rule that I generally teach in every coach training that I deliver is that the less time we have, the smaller and the more specific the conversation goal should be.
For shorter sessions, it helps to define the topic in advance. You can start with situations where there is already a clear context or other scenarios relevant to your professional environment. Help the other person narrow the conversation down to a specific, tangible deliverable. For example, a person comes to you and asks, “I want to know how I should manage this conflict that I have with another team member”.
To make the conversation more intentional and focused you can ask a question like: “in order for you to resolve this, what would it be most helpful takeaway from our conversation?”
They may say something like: “I’d like a conversation approach” OR “I’d like to learn how to manage my emotions in this situation” OR “I’d like to think of some specific words and phrases that I could use that are relatively neutral and do not escalate the situation”.
The situation is the same, but there can be different deliverables – different value the person wants to get from the conversation. You never really know which part of the problem is puzzling the other person. So, do not assume; you can’t just guess it.
That’s why the safest way is always to ask.
- “Which part of this gets you puzzled?”
- “What specifically is the challenge here?”
Even talking the situation through can be remarkably insightful, because as we tell our own story, we begin to observe it from the outside.
Key Principle 3: The Structure of a Laser Coaching Conversation
Remember that there is a conversation frame. You usually start with the goal, what specifically the person wants from the conversation. Then you invite your coachee to start with the general context, outlining the gap: where they are now, what they want. The purpose of the coaching conversation would be to help them close the gap, or at least minimize the gap. Coaching is often directed towards a shift, a resolution or greater clarity. After a person has outlined a few aspects of the situation and you have a clear direction, the next questions that can be asked are:
- “What is stopping you?”
- “What are your options?”
- “What are you leaning towards?”
Remember to ask the magic question, “what else?”
It shows that you trust that they are capable enough to come up with additional options, even when they say they have exhausted their options. Sometimes they do come up with extra options, sometimes they don’t, but remember to ask this magic question.
Remember to use silence and allow extended silence after your questions. Let people think. Silence will increase cognitive processing. It will signal that you are taking their thinking process seriously. You are creating space for thinking, and it signals your patience and shows that you are comfortable holding the space for your team member and staying with their thinking process.
After they’ve exhausted all their options, you can always see if they’re satisfied with the options that they have by asking questions like:
- “Does that sound enough?”
- “Are there any feasible options you could realistically move forward with?”
- “Does it sound like any of these may support you in handling this problem or resolving the challenge or finding the answer?”
The exact wording of your questions matters less than the intention behind them. If they do not have any additional ideas, that’s okay. You can stretch the thinking by asking:
- “What else is remaining unclear?”
- “Where else can we dig in order to find the answer?”
- “So which part of this has not been addressed?”
- “Where does it not feel enough for you?”
- “What are you not getting right now to say that you’re satisfied with the options?”
Before closing, make the conversation action-linked. Ask questions like:
- “what exactly will you do and when?”
- “What could derail this?”
Key Principle 4: Refrain from Advice
And now for the hardest part: refrain from giving advice. If you step in with advice at this stage, you undo the work they’ve done, and they may well think, “What was the point of these 15 or 20 minutes if you could have saved the time and just told me what you think?”
When you choose to coach, your intention is not to give them your answer. Your intention is to help them grow their capacity for problem solving, taking initiative, creativity, flexibility, resilience.
Ending with Reflection
A great way to finish a coaching session is to invite reflection. You can ask:
- “What are your thoughts after our conversation?”
- “Where did you get clarity?”
- “What insight are you leaving with?”
- “What’s your learning from this conversation?”
Reflection consolidates learning. By letting them reflect on the experience, you support them in building this reflective muscle.
Working Within the Limits of Short Sessions
A common challenge is getting off track during the conversation or starting a huge topic that cannot be resolved. When you have a 15-minute laser session, do not try to solve everything. Do not ask too many exploratory questions or deeper questions if you do not have available time for the depth that such conversation deserves. Focus on supporting with the key question your team member needs the answer to.
This article is part of our ICF-aligned coach training resources for coaches developing professional coaching practice. It explores powerful questions as they relate to coaching presence, relational depth, and the ICF Core Coaching Competencies, particularly for coaches working toward an ICF credential or deepening their coaching skills beyond techniques.
The article is based on episode 24 of our Coaching with Confidence and Care podcast. If you enjoy podcasts and want to hear more professional insights and practical examples, you can listen to the full episode here.